


YOU HAVE GOT TO BE F---ING KIDDING ME

by LlamaLlamaNewt



Series: Superheroes like Coffee Too [5]
Category: Marvel
Genre: #SayNoToHYDRACap, Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Brainwashed Character, Canon Character of Color, Female Jewish Character, Other, Past Torture, Steve Rogers is not and will never be a Nazi, Wade Wilson does not approve
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-25
Updated: 2016-05-25
Packaged: 2018-06-10 17:22:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6966199
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LlamaLlamaNewt/pseuds/LlamaLlamaNewt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Wade does not approve of the new comic plot twist.</p>
            </blockquote>





	YOU HAVE GOT TO BE F---ING KIDDING ME

**Author's Note:**

> Follow up to #SayNoToHYDRACap and the idea that #MarvelDoesntDeserveCap. I'm considering Boycotting Marvel at this point. I am not okay with this.

"YOU HAVE GOT TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME!" came a shout from the corner of the cafe.   
  
America and Kate looked at each other warily before quickly throwing their hands out. Kate's rock beat America's scissors. America rolled her eyes before cautiously making her way towards Deadpool's table.

"NO. NONONONONO. THIS IS NOT OKAY. WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS EVER OKAY?!"

"Are... you okay?"

Deadpool looked up at her. "No. No I am not okay."

"Do you need some help?"

"Are you interested in helping me murder someone?"

America stared at him incredulously.

"Yeah I didn't think so. But seriously, Captain America, a NAZI?! What were they thinking?!"

America raised her eyebrow. "What?"

"I know! It's absolutely ridiculous, isn't it?!"

"Cap isn't a Nazi though,"she responded confused. "It's kind of everything he's against. World War II? Red Skull?"

"I know that. But someone seems to think that in some alternative universe he could be."

"Okay...."

"His best friend is a Person of Colour."

"Yes..." America trailed off. Everyone knew Falcon.

"His other best friend is Jewish."

America hadn't know that one. She was too afraid to ask which other best friend this was.

"He is queer."

America shrugged at that one. It was still up for debate. "Okay, I can see why this could be a problem.... but.... what can we do about it?"

"I don't know!" Deadpool wailed desperately. 

"Do you want another coffee?"

"Do you have rum to put in it?" Deadpool muttered darkly.

"No," she said disapprovingly. 

"Can I have a vanilla shot instead?"

America sighed. "Yes."

She left Deadpool to his muttering to grab him another coffee.

Kate looked at America apprehensively. "So...?"

"He's muttering about Captain America in an alternative universe being a Nazi."

"What?"

"That's his problem with the whole thing too. I don't even know Kate."

"Wow..." Kate said under her breath.

America finished up the coffee before grabbing a Spider Man muffin from the cabinet and sticking it on a plate. She headed back over to Deadpool's table. She set the muffin and coffee down beside his elbow. "The muffin is on the house."

Deadpool looked at it. The looked at America. "I knew you secretly liked me!"

"I will still break you."

"I like you too."

"Shut up and eat your muffin. If you're going to keep fretting over Nazis, please do so quietly so as to not scare away the other customers."  
  
Deadpool nodded before going back to his muttering.   
  
A few minutes of silence later, there was one more scream of rage. "HIS BEST FRIEND WAS TORTURED BY NAZIS FOR 70 YEARS. I AM NOT OKAY WITH THIS."


End file.
